


Altas

by robertdownerjr



Series: Falsettos Oneshots [4]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, Falsettos - Lapine/Finn (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, HIV/AIDS, Hospitalized Whizzer Brown, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired By a Sleeping at Last Song, M/M, Marvin Not Being an Asshole (Falsettos), Songfic, Whizzer Brown's Death, Whizzer Brown/Marvin-centric, i think??, it's 3am and i honestly cant tell if this makes sense anymore so ill fix it in the morning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:29:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29626356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertdownerjr/pseuds/robertdownerjr
Summary: I don't even know where to startAlready tired of trying to recall when it all fell apartMarvin's last days with WhizzerSongfic of "Two" by Sleeping At Last
Relationships: Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Series: Falsettos Oneshots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151291
Comments: 15
Kudos: 20





	Altas

**Author's Note:**

> once again the prompt for this fic was given to me by the ever-talented [exexlovers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/exexlovers/pseuds/exexlovers), they gave me like 10 fic ideas and idk if i should blow up their inbox by gifting them each one so i will continue to hype them up in the notes, be prepared yall  
> i think this is the longest fic I've ever posted bc I'm impatient and split stuff into separate parts way too much but I actually went and wont an entire thing, so here yall go with some _ANGST_

_**Sweetheart, you look a little tired  
When did you last eat?** _

“Whiz, are you ok?”

Marvin pulled away from Whizzer after coming home from work, noticing how exhausted he seemed. 

Lately, it seemed he never had any energy and was always lying down to rest. It wasn’t the first worrying sign he’d observed. He’d started to notice bags under Whizzer’s eyes, no matter how often he tried to hide it with makeup, and he slept much more often and was almost constantly on the verge of falling asleep.

“What? Oh no, Marv, I’m fine,” he brushed him off and turned to walk away, but Marvin grabbed his hand.

_**Come in and make yourself right at home  
Stay as long as you need** _

“Are you sure? You’ve seemed- out of it, for the past couple of days.” He pressed and hand to Whizzer’s forehead. “Babe, you’re burning up. Stay here for a second.” 

He stepped into the kitchen trying to find their thermometer. When he emerged, Whizzer rolled his eyes at him jokingly, but Marvin still noticed how he was leaning into the sofa for support.

“100.7,” Marvin mumbled. “Whiz, you need to see a doctor, I’m gonna get Charlotte over here-”

“No!” Whizzer blurted as he stood all the way up. Marvin raised an eyebrow in confusion.

_**Tell me, is something wrong? If something's wrong, you can count on me.** _

“I swear, Marvin, I’m okay, It’s probably the flu from one of those snotty toddlers with the family I was taking pictures of the other day.” Whizzer smiled a little, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll be fine, no need to bother Charlotte.”

_**You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps your's beat  
It's okay if you can't find the words** _

“You wouldn’t be a bother, baby,” Marvin stood next to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m okay, Marvin, promise.” Marvin noticed how Whizzer didn’t meet his eyes. “I’m starving, do you wanna cook tonight or order form out?”

_**Let me take your coat  
And this weight off of your shoulders** _

Marvin left it alone, even though he didn’t believe him. 

~

_**Like a force to be reckoned with  
A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss** _

A week or so later, they were back on the racquetball court, but unlike usual, Marvin was winning.

Whizzer seemed slower like his reflexes weren’t as sharp. Like he wasn’t fully there.

Marvin tried to mask his concern with jokes about finally beating him after months, and Whizzer halfheartedly laughed each time he missed the ball.

Even in his weakened state, his laugh was wonderful to hear, and Marvin wondered how he ever could have taken it for granted. 

_**I will love you with every single thing I have  
Like a tidal wave, we'll make a mess** _

Whizzer missed the ball a few more times in a row and stopped, pointing at his foot. 

“Hit my shoe.” he took a labored breath. “Great job, Marv, the game is yours.” 

Marvin teasingly gasped at him. “So, you’re a quitter now, huh?”

“Sure, if that’s what you wanna call it,” he joked back, but it lacked his usual sarcastic tone.

_**Or calm waters, if that serves you best  
I will love you without any strings attached** _

“Oh, the great lord of the racquetball court, please forgive me for being winning one game.” He gave a lopsided grin that Whizzer tried to return, but it came out like more of a grimace.

“Let’s head home, Marv, I’m ready- ready to go-” His knees seemed to buckle, and suddenly he was on the pavement.

Marvin ran over as he fell to the ground.

_**It's okay if you can't catch your breath  
You can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest** _

“Marv-Marvin, I’m sorry,” Whizzer was sweating profusely, his breaths ragged and uneven. “I- I didn’t want to- I didn’t want to worry you and I thought it would- that it would go away and it- it’d be fine but I can’t-”

“Shh, baby, it’s okay, you don’t have anything to be sorry about, okay? It’ll be alright, you’re gonna be okay, Whiz,” he said, trying to convince himself as well as Whizzer. “Everything will be alright.”

He held Whizzer’s face as he pulled out his phone and dialed Charlotte’s number.

~

**_I know exactly how the rule goes:  
Put my mask on first_ **

**__**

**__**

Marvin hadn’t known how long he’d been in the hospital room. A few days? A week? Two? It didn’t matter, all that mattered is that he was here with his love for as long as possible. 

He refused to leave Whizzer’s side, ignoring everyone’s attempts to get him to go home and get some rest.

**_No, I don't want to talk about myself,  
Tell me where it hurts_ **

**__**

****

He didn’t understand it. The love of his life was dying right in front of him, and people were acting as if he were the one who needed attention.

**_I just want to build you up, build you up  
'Til you're good as new_ **

Whizzer reached out and squeezed his hand, interrupting his thoughts. “Marvin, I love you and don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like shit right now,” he said, smiling a bit.

Marvin laughed hollowly and rolled over to where he and Whizzer were face to face.

**_And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too_ **

“Hey there,” he said, trying to smile back.

“Marv, please go home for a little bit. You to eat something that isn’t hospital food and sleep in your actual bed for a change. Take a shower, you definitely need one.” Marvin scoffed, his grin becoming a little more genuine for a moment. “I promise, I’ll be fine for one night.”

**_I don't even know where to start_ **

“Whiz, I can’t leave, I’m not leaving you here on your own,”

“Why not? Marvin, you look awful, it’s not doing me any good for you to be here if it’s hurting you. Please, just go home for a while.”

“I can’t.” Marvin tried to turn back around, but Whizzer grabbed his arm.

“Why not?”

**_Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart_ **

“I already left you once.” He says it so softly Whizzer almost didn’t hear him.

“What?”

“I left you. I kicked you out, and you didn’t have anywhere to go, or any way to support yourself, and I knew that, for all I knew you could have died on the streets because I was a self-absorbed controlling ass who wanted everything at once.”

**_I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well_ **

He started to tear up. “I left you for two years, Whiz. Two of the worst years of my life. Over a stupid game of chess. I’m not leaving you again, not even if my life depends on it.”

**_I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself_ **

Whizzer reached up to hold Marvin’s face. “Marvin, sweetie, you can’t put all that blame on yourself. It was a two-way street. I was scared of commitment and I ran from it, I egged you on every chance I got. We’d get mad at each other, fight, fuck and repeat, love, we were a _fucking mess_.”

**_Like a force to be reckoned with_ **

“But we came around, pulled our heads out of our asses, and I’d like to think we’re at least a bit less shitty than we used to be.”

Whizzer laced his fingers in between Marvin’s. 

“I know that you’ve changed for the better, Marv. We both have. I know you’re not gonna leave me, and I know you want to make sure I know that before- the inevitable. But you staying here, staining my pillowcases with your unwashed heathen hair, isn’t as convincing of an argument as you think it is.”

Marvin laughed a little at his joking tone and pulled him closer.

**_A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss_ **

"Anything that happened the first time is forgiven, okay? You've made it up completely, and all I care about is who you are now: my dumbass boyfriend who needs to go eat something other than hospital cafeteria pudding."

Whizzer wiped some of the tears off Marvin's face. "How about you go home, get something to eat, _take a shower for the love of god_ , and then you can come back and sleep here, m'kay?" 

Marvin nodded, kissed his cheek, and started climbing out of the bed.

**_I will love you without any strings attached_ **

~

**_And what a privilege it is to love_**

Marvin and Whizzer stood side by side at the bar mitzvah, Marvin supporting his lover’s weight as Jason recited his Hebrew.

**_A great honor to hold you up_ **

In the middle of the ceremony, Whizzer starting tapping on Marvin’s shoulder. He turned, and by the look in his eyes, understood what was going on. 

Whizzer was able to whisper a “thank you” to Jason before being swept away by Marvin and Charlotte.

**_Like a force to be reckoned with_ **

Marvin probably wasn't supposed to be in the room with Whizzer while Charlotte and the other doctors worked. He didn't care. Anyone who tried to take his hand from Whizzer's was going to have hell to pay, and it seemed the hospital staff could tell, as they left them alone.

**_A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss_ **

"I don't know what I would do if I hadn't met you,"

"Oh, I'm sure you would have found someone else to wake up at the asscrack of dawn every morning whenever you get up for work," he joked weakly.

**_I will love you with every single thing I have_ **

Marvin laughed but quickly got serious again. "I'm serious, you're why I am who I am today, Whiz, you're what made me want to be better." He squeezed his hand tighter and his voice started to crack. "I don't wanna lose you."

**_Like a tidal wave, I'll make a mess Or calm waters if that serves you best_ **

Whizzer squeezed back, as he starting to cry as well. "It's okay, Marv, it'll be okay."

A nurse came up to Marvin and instructed him to leave the room.

Marvin leaned over and kissed Whizzer one last time.

"I love you," he said, on the verge of sobbing.

**_I will love you without any strings attached_ **

"I love you, too."

Marvin was ushered out into the hallway, where he finally broke down and wept.

 ** _I will love you without a single string attached_ **

**Author's Note:**

> god its 4am im tired but woooo i did it  
> completely unrelated to the fic, but is whizzer ever canonly said to be a photographer, or did someone just come up with the idea and we all went 'yea seems legit' bc I've been thinking about this for days and I need to know  
> anyways, thanks so much for reading and comments/feedback are always appreciated bc I wanna improve! :)  
> also, i take requests in the first part of this series bc lord knows i'm running out of ideas


End file.
